Great poem, and that haiku is fantastic.. i always struggle to find that special something in the last line to tie it together and you have it really nicely there. Its the best bit of a haiku, that last line.
It really is the best part, and the struggle over line three is real! I'm sure that is why the traditional kireji is so often placed just before the last line, where it can supply a structural pivot point to keep things moving. But we don';t have that option in English!
Wonderful work all round! Love the haiku (such a wonderful sense of movement and colour), and love the tanka especially (has that lovely emotional depth). If that's your first foray into the form - you're a natural! Thanks so much for the shout out as well! Looking forward to reading more, and please feel welcome to leave haiku and tanka as comments on any of my posts, if the fancy takes you :-)
Nice! And the way you describe the gale is cool too, as it shows how it’s free and roaming around in any direction.
Thanks so much--yes, it does seem fitting in that way!
Just lovely to envision the wind in so many forms!
Thank you, Carole--so glad you enjoyed it!
I like the mix of short lines in with the longer one, kinda gusted the poem along in an irregular way, like its topic.
Maybe the form really did grow naturally out of the wind patterns, as I began it while out in the gusts! Thanks, Wes!
Great poem, and that haiku is fantastic.. i always struggle to find that special something in the last line to tie it together and you have it really nicely there. Its the best bit of a haiku, that last line.
It really is the best part, and the struggle over line three is real! I'm sure that is why the traditional kireji is so often placed just before the last line, where it can supply a structural pivot point to keep things moving. But we don';t have that option in English!
Wonderful work all round! Love the haiku (such a wonderful sense of movement and colour), and love the tanka especially (has that lovely emotional depth). If that's your first foray into the form - you're a natural! Thanks so much for the shout out as well! Looking forward to reading more, and please feel welcome to leave haiku and tanka as comments on any of my posts, if the fancy takes you :-)